Currently Barry Manilow’s I write the Songs is playing in my head. Sometimes songs just pop into my head out of nowhere. That’s the song that popped in just now. Depending on when you were born you may or may not be familiar with the song. Without looking up the lyrics, below is what I am hearing in my head:
I write the songs that make the whole world sing, I write the songs of love and special things. I write the songs that make the young girls cry. I write the songs I write the songs.
I am planning to release my second album this Spring, or maybe Summer depending on when I manage to get the last two songs completed. I look forward to it. I have no expectations that anything will result. I have accepted that doing this (releasing a second album) hoping to gain any kind of recognition as a musical artist, or hoping to make money from it is not unlike playing the lottery. And I have never been lucky in that way. So I’m trying to stay conscious of the need to maintain a healthy perspective and to be wholly and fully accepting of the way things are and will be.
I haven’t yet firmly decided on the title for my second album. I have 10 tracks completed. I hope to have the last two tracks completed as soon as next week. At that point I will begin to think about what I want to title the album. I had decided to give it a title matching the title of one of the tracks, but I’m not so sure about that any more. I also have to begin to think about the direction for the album cover. But I won’t sweat it too much. I’m going to focus on just having as much fun with the process as possible. In the end, that’s really all that matters.
I remember when I released my first album, it felt so lonely, because no one seemed to care. I had wanted to have a party (silly me). But it wasn’t long before I realized I was making a big deal about something that from everyone else’s perspective was nothing. It was such a major accomplishment for me, but I mostly just ended up feeling like a fool because it was so obvious that no one gave a damn. It made me have to face certain truths, but that’s not necessarily such a bad thing. Understanding that you don’t need other people to support your ambitions, and that you should not depend upon or expect other people to support your ambitions–it is critical to your being able to keep on going even when the feedback and reaction is disinterest or blatant rejection. You have to decide, are you doing what you do because it’s what you love and what you want to do, or are you doing it because you want people to think you’re special for doing it, and to notice your doings and tell you how great you are?
Any time someone creates something and puts it out into the world, obviously it’s going to bruise their ego a little bit if no one notices, and worse yet if people notice but dismiss their creation as rubbish that’s unworthy of interest. But I’m here to tell you, having been dealing with rejection of my artistic expressions for most of my life, that if you create from your gut because something inside you compels you to pull it out and mold it and shape it into something that can be seen or heard outside of yourself, you’ve done the part that matters. You’ve created the thing. If people don’t like it, it’s not really a big deal. Keep pulling from your gut and creating tangible expressions and representations of ‘your’ soul and spirit.